Baan Dek

Uncovering Kindness

Thoughts & Reflections

A question we are frequently asked by prospective families or people unfamiliar with Montessori education surrounds the multi-age classrooms intrinsic to Montessori education.

A Primary classroom is home to children age two-and-a-half to six. “Don’t the six-year-olds just walk all over the two-year-olds?”

The short, and the long, answer is, nope. Never.

We focus just as intensely, even more so, on the social well-being of each individual child in the classroom, the social health of the group, as we do on the academic development of the children.

Montessori Baan Dek Child playing outside snow

We firmly believe, social success leads to academic success. Children who are happy, contented, and feel secure in their environment can be successful in their learning, are willing to try things and take appropriate risks, and experiment — all of which are incredibly valuable for ownership of and lifelong learning.

Children are inherently empathetic. Infants in nurseries cry when another newborn is crying, even when all their needs are met. Babies soothe one another with their mere presence.

Children are also naturally ego-driven. Their development is unconcerned with the needs of other three-year-olds; a child does not begin to roll over or sit up because they see another baby doing this action and want to compete with or mimic them. The child’s internal drive is a gyroscope, perpetually driving them forward on their own path of development.

Montessori Decimal System Friends Help

We work to awaken both of these innate qualities to ensure each child is both looking out for the well-being of others, and being true to the appropriately self-centered development that is true to the under-six mind.

In the classroom, the child’s own needs have the natural limit of the group; my own needs can never come at the expense of others.

I am working to master gross motor movement. I cannot run in the classroom, as it would be unsafe for my friends and for their work.

I am acutely interested in human interactions, in conversations with others, in seeing how my words have power. I cannot interrupt a friend who is working.

I am learning to control my emotions. I cannot learn this at the expense of others’ physical or psychological safety.

“The child’s internal drive is a gyroscope, perpetually driving them forward on their own path of development.”

In a mixed-age classroom, we encounter a range of abilities and capacities. Children who are fresh on the path, children who have mastered more basic skills and who are honing, refining these skills and moving on to more advanced abilities.

Children look out for one another. Since most of our children return every year for three or even four years in the Primary setting, they usher in newer, younger children, showing them the ropes, helping the smaller child to get just one scoop of snack, to roll a rug correctly, to get all the beans back in the jug after spilling them on the floor.

“Mary is getting ANOTHER snack!!!” “Sam still has the Color Tablets out and is painting!!!” The children are in a tizzy, verging on panic, that this newcomer would have the audacity to do something so absurd, so completely against the rules.

It’s almost as if he doesn’t know.

Montessori Child Decimal System Math

We explain, “Mary is new. She doesn’t know. Can you think of a kind way to explain to her that we just have one snack?”

“Perhaps you would like to help Sam put away his Color Tablets, and then maybe he needs help getting the smock on for painting. He just doesn’t know yet. But you do. You can help him.”

The children don’t feel frustrated, or angry, or like ostracizing this Other when the rules are so blatantly turned upside-down.

They feel confusion, flabbergasted. How could this child’s behavior even be POSSIBLE?!?

With the guidance of adults, with the support of older, more experienced children, they offer help to this newcomer, inviting them into the fold.

Montessori Child Math Teen Beads and Boards

They do their best to live the rules, to show, rather than tell, another child how to act in this place. Sometimes this help isn’t always helpful, taking that second snack plate away from the offending child, moving their work when, “That’s not where it goes!”

They have forgotten when they were new, when they did not yet know the rules. Acting out of accord with the mutually agreed upon set of norms is so disruptive, the young child will do everything in their power, sometimes inappropriately asserting power, to re-establish harmony and peace in their classroom.

It’s almost as if they don’t know.

So adults and the older children help. We help the Helpers. We’re all learning and growing together, doing the best we can and working toward a better tomorrow.

“How do I corral my kindness to have the same impact as is intended?”

We are all trying to be kind, trying to help one another. Sometimes my kindness unintentionally ends up bumping up against my friend, creates conflict. How do I corral my kindness to have the same impact as is intended?

This is a rocky path we walk, and we walk it together.

So, no, the six-year-olds do not run rampant, the two-year-olds are not taking things from the older children.

Their differing levels of ability rub up against one another. But they polish one another smooth, showing true colors and beautiful facets.

The children are kind.

Montessori children birthday happy

Written by:

Charlotte Snyder

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